Even though spam costs the US economy $1.37E29 (or whatever the made up number most experts agree on), and even though nearly everyone can agree that spam is more morally wrong than baby mulching, and that spammers should be executed via cruse missile (etc), every now and then a spam is really entertaining. Today's fun spam was (of course) about penis enlargement:
"My girlfriend loves the results, but she doesn't know what I do. She thinks it's natural" -Thomas, CA
"I've been using your product for 4 months now. I've increased my length from 2" to nearly 6" . Your product has saved my sex life." -Matt, FL
Pleasure your partner every time with a bigger, longer, stronger Unit Realistic gains quickly
[1]to be a stud press here
(Random quotes to fool the Bayesian filter omitted.) Taking them in reverse order:
- A "stronger" unit? The penis isn't a muscle, not even in spam, and so I presume that they're referring to increasing its tensile strength, rather than its lifting power (let's not consider compressive strength). Is one's penis snapping off really a common problem? You'd figure that if it was, one would also see spams for "penis supports", "penis braces", and of course "prosthetic penises". I don't read every spam, but I haven't seen any of these yet. Well, I guess that they're trying to get the first mover advantage in this virgin market.
- I must say, I'm really impressed with tripling the size of his penis in
only 4 months. However, you have to wonder how much of a sex life a man
with a 2" penis could have had. (I presume that he measured while erect,
since the size of a flacid penis isn't very relevant to anything.) Even
assuming that he and his partner were especially flexible, human bodies can
only get so close together. Even with his partner on a table, his pelvis
would still be at least an inch from her's. Assuming a (very short) 1"
total thrusting distance, you'd still expect him to frequently
unintentionally disengage and begin poking his partner in uncomfortable
ways. Hm. Maybe that's where compressive strengthening might come in
handy... In any event, it's rather dubious that a man with a 2" penis could
have sex, let alone a sex life. And a sex life is required for it to be
saved.
And finally, if Thomas's girlfriend really thinks that penis enlargement in an adult male is natural, she really needs to do something that will cause her gullibility muscle to atrophy. I mean, "Wow, Tom, your penis has really grown quite a lot lately! It sure is amazing that unlike every other part of the body, the penis never stops growing! No wonder they call it the trouser snake!"